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Name: Brian
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: Springfield
Birthday: 4/12/1984
Gender: Male


Interests: MuSiC iS MY PaSSioN and GoD iS MY LiFe. i aM HeRe aT BBC LooKiNG FoR MY WiFe. i LoVe To HaNG ouT WiTH MY FRieNDS, PLaY THe GuiTaR, aND HaVe FuN. (PLeaSe SiGN MY GueSTBooK!!)
Expertise: i aM aN eXPeRT aT NoTHiNG, BuT You SHouLD See WHaT i CaN Do THRouGH MY GoD.
Occupation: Government
Industry: Nonprofit


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Member Since: 7/17/2005

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

TOP 10 THINGS OVERHEARD ON THE ARK

10. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?"

9. "Hey, there are more than two flies in here!"

8. "Wasn't someone supposed to put two shovels on board?"

7. "Okay, who's the wise-guy who brought the mosquitoes on board?!"

6. "Help! I need some Pepto for the elephants, QUICK!"

5. "Don't make me pull this ark over and come back there!"

4. "No Ham, you cannot eat the pig!"

3. "And whatever you do, DO NOT pull this plug out."

2. "Nice doggie..."

1. "Are we there yet?"
that's great. 
 
p.s. - hey, for those who don't know...i have a girlfriend, and she's the best!  (and she hates xanga so i know she won't read this)
 
leave me a comment...ok?


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

i hate the english language.  it's so complicated.
 
For instance: 
 
      If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
 
and if OUGH can stand for O as in Dough
 
and if PHTH can stand for T as in Phthisis
 
and if EIGH can stand for A as in Neighbor
 
and if TTE can stand for T as in Gazette
 
and if EAU can stand for O as in Plateau
 
....
 
then technically, we should spell "POTATO" as "GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU"
 
Yep, that's our english language for the day!
 
(brought to you by the letters "ggebsz" and "eichguqq")  yeah whatever


Friday, March 03, 2006

 

Hey this is to all the freshman at BBC who have research papers to complete in the next couple of weeks take it from me Prooofreeding is al ways impORtant, so eye thought i wood give youou some instrucksions on how to proofread"

   1.Don't abbrev.

   2.Check to see if you any words out.

   3.Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.

   4. About sentence fragments.

   5.When dangling, don't use participles.

   6.Don't use no double negatives - Never!

   7.Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

   8.Just between you and I, case is important.

   9.Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.

  10.Don't use commas, that aren't necessary,

  11.Its important to use apostrophe's right.

  12.It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.

  13.Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.

  14.Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should

            begin with a capital and end

            with a period

  15.Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.

  16.In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas

             to keep a string of items apart.

  17.Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.

  18.Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

  19.Avoid unnecessary redundancy that's not needed.

 

   20.Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.

  21.A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.


 

Hey this is to all the freshman at BBC who have research papers to complete in the next couple of weeks take it from me Prooofreeding is al ways impORtant, so eye thought i wood give youou some instrucksions on how to proofread"

   1.Don't abbrev.

   2.Check to see if you any words out.

   3.Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.

   4. About sentence fragments.

   5.When dangling, don't use participles.

   6.Don't use no double negatives - Never!

   7.Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

   8.Just between you and I, case is important.

   9.Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.

  10.Don't use commas, that aren't necessary,

  11.Its important to use apostrophe's right.

  12.It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.

  13.Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.

  14.Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should

            begin with a capital and end

            with a period

  15.Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.

  16.In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas

             to keep a string of items apart.

  17.Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.

  18.Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

  19.Avoid unnecessary redundancy that's not needed.

 

   20.Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.

  21.A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.

 


Tuesday, February 28, 2006

WOW!!!  it's been forever, literally...what can i say?  i'm busy!
 
Hey, I found these...The following top 15 police comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country...let me know what you think (and how you've been doing for the last couple of months...)

#15: "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14: "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13: "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12: "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11: "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10: "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9: "Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8: "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7: "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo."

#6: "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5: "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4: "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3: "No, we used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2: "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

#1: "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

haha...



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